We have just finished ‘birthday season’ in my house. It runs from February through to the end of April where in those two months there are 10 family birthdays. I think it is more expensive than Christmas. Every week or so there is a birthday, there is even two birthdays on the same day- my nephews being born on the same day two years apart! The extended birthday season this year was to celebrate my lovely Mum’s 70th birthday.
We had a lovely dinner on her actual birthday in March and we culminated the celebrations this weekend with a family weekend away in Portsmouth which was really fun. Three generations all together, talking, eating, drinking, laughing, playing games and making memories, celebrating this wonder of a woman. Even the weather held!!
The significance of a birthday is great. Marking another year of our lives on this wonderful planet. But why for some does the excitement of the celebratory event diminish? As children, pretty much ALL children couldn’t be more excited about their birthday. The joy of celebrating themselves, their new age, receiving gifts, eating cake, parties and feeling like an absolute champ is beyond exciting. In our house countdowns start months in advance and the excitement when the day actually comes is often at its peak at 5am on the day itself! So at what point does the yearning for the next birthday stop? And for some the choice to ignore these once momentous occasions is much more appealing.
Reasons behind not celebrating birthdays I understand can be attributed to a long list of things from not wanting to age, to not wanting to cause a fuss, to missing a loved one, to having to work. But I think often people don’t celebrate other things either. Anniversaries, new jobs, sporting achievements, personal achievements, doing something nice for someone else, making time to meet a friend, creating new habits or simply getting through a busy day. It can be easier to dwell on more challenging occurrences than focus on little wins. Celebrations don’t need to be all banners, balloons and cake, although I am very partial to the latter with a large glass of prosecco. I am a true believer that the small (and the big) things should be celebrated. This might be in a gentle way- a hot bath at the end of a busy day, 10 minutes for a coffee in front of the TV after a cleaning blitz, a high five to yourself in your head after finally convincing your 7 year old to put suncream on before school! So why can this often seem hard?
I know that often I am the worst for actually giving myself permission to have fun and enjoy a moment. I am often too wrapped up in sorting everyone else out, motivating and celebrating my clients and being head cheerleader to everyone else to remember to give myself a break and celebrate my own achievements. This is something that I am trying to work on and something I think is quite commonplace among mums. I think about all the times that I try and celebrate with my children- when they tell me about something that they have done at school that they are proud of. When they score in their football practices, when my 4 year old managed to do up a button on his school polo shirt (why are they so hard?!), when all the green veg has been eaten at dinner time! It can be exhausting but it has a huge impact in building confidence, resilience and happiness.
One of the most common goals people have which act as a catalyst to become fitter and healthier is to lose weight. “If I get to X weight I will be happier. I will have achieved my goal. I will celebrate”. But really there is a whole lot more to it. By chasing this goal, confidence, and self esteem can improve, focus can improve, resilience can improve, mood can improve, the ability to do daily tasks becomes easier, you have more energy. Losing weight can become secondary to what is being achieved. It takes time. Losing weight effectively is not a quick process. It cannot be achieved and sustained in a couple of weeks. To do it well it can take months (sorry to destroy any illusions). Then further work is required to maintain a healthier you. It really is a life’s work. The thing to remember is through this process there are magical things that can happen. And when they do, these should be celebrated. Take time to notice how far you have come. Take time to notice how you feel different and how this impacts your life. Celebrate when you have changed small elements of your life for the better. Celebrate when you have got out the door after a tough morning, when you have been for a lunchtime walk, celebrate when you have achieved a PB, celebrate when you picked an apple over a biscuit, celebrate when you managed a full 8 hours of sleep! These are all amazing things to achieve. Most importantly, celebrate YOU. Be your own unapologetic and biggest cheerleader. Recognise daily the amazing things that you do. Embrace the birthdays! Celebrate and have fun. We only get this one life so look after it, have fun with it and look for how you can celebrate the small and the big stuff. The more we look to do this, the easier it becomes and all the better we feel for it.
If you would like some help navigating this path, I would love to be the cheerleader helping you find your own internal cheerleader. Send me a message at amanda@radiatefitness.co.uk and we can come up with a plan of how to celebrate more of those wins on a path to a healthier and happier you.
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